ink stained fingertips for your lips

Fri, 21 Nov 2008 18:10:13 GMT

just taking a step back.

i need to take care of me and my heart.

Friendship and stuff

Thu, 02 Oct 2008 02:28:22 GMT

i'm not a good friend.

i've always pushed people away. gosh this sounds like numerous of previous journal entries that i've written...but i do. i was just backreading and looking at old friends journals and i realized i am always missing people. this happens too often. i want to get in touch with G again and say hi, call him, text him, or even respond to his email, but, he has a girlfriend now and it's not that I want to be HIS girlfriend, but i don't want to step on anyones (his girlfriend's) toes. how does he explain me? some chick from CT that he used to know. some girl that introduced him to Live Journal. Some girl that used to be his friend. keywords "used to be" i let his friendship go when i became deeply involved on riding an emotional roller coaster of my own. my attention could not be spread in any other direction. my heart and brain knew nothing else. no one else. no other direction than my own emotional prison.

i followed the yellow-brick-road blinded by love.
the unfortunate thing is, i never did make it to OZ

(i am feeling rather sentimental tonight. i've eaten a small bag of salty/sweet toffee covered peanuts. my diabetes will not be too happy with me for that. it's PMS time....)

2 years later...

Mon, 29 Sep 2008 17:25:22 GMT

I can't even believe I still remember the name of this journal, let alone the password. Sometimes I wish that my memory was not as good as it is, and that I could forget everything, people, places, and especially emotions. but I can't. I am who I am, and nothing will change that, not even 2 years later.

I still write, but I am not as disciplined as I once was. Maybe that's why I am back here. To write. Maybe that's why I peeked my little head back in to see if the words still come out as easily. Maybe I just can't let go.

I am different today, 2 years later, yet I am the same rambling, overly sensitive, overly emotional, over analytical thinking, Aries girlwoman. I am still me, only different.

I'm not too sure if I will actually write here, or if I will rent out a new LJ home, or if I will slip back into life as I've been doing for the past 2 years, who knows. I don't. Things here are different. People are gone, deleted off LJ, deleted out of my life, some my doing, some theirs, but it's ok. Life does go on, maybe not as sweetly, but if we are lucky, it goes on.

I see some familiar names on my friends list. I've missed your words. Sincerely. I want to send a message and say hello. how's life.whatcha been up to. but I am not going to. I can't.

So here are my words. for now. Here I am. for now. I am hoping that will be enough. for now.

anonymous commenting MY WAY....

Sun, 04 Dec 2005 20:27:53 GMT

because i am literally drained from all of the emotions in my soul, here is a "reeses" type of entry.

click anonymous when you leave this comment or else you shall be forever ridiculed in my lj.

and then tell me...

one: a secret
two: a lie
three: a joke
four: something about me
five: a fact

i am counting on all of you on my friends list, and a few who read my rare unlocked entries to anoymously comment.

you know you want to!